This is how I spent my day today: Sonic Youth's Superstar, Buddy Holly's Dearest and the Juno OST off the speakers, on a rainy afternoon while eating granola bars (oats and dark chocolate, mi favourite!), drinking coffee and reading Haruki Murakami's Kafka on the Shore. :-)
I actually didn't feel "sad." More like nostalgic or even melancholic. But it's not because of the recent stuff that happened. It's more like, I was longing, looking back to some old, distant memory that already faded a long time ago. And there was this feeling of wanting to remember. Not desperate not fearful. It just felt so peaceful, like waiting for a sunrise, thinking about nothing. Just watching the light slowly wakes up from its slumber behind the mountain--that kind of feeling.
And that's when I was able to fully understand an old advice from a close friend. He said he just robbed it off a movie he can't remember though, lol. Anyway, it goes like this: Sometimes, the best thing to do is to do nothing.
There's also a part like that in the book, where Hoshini already wanted to "open the entrance" but Nakata said that they should wait. Again, it's like waiting for the sunrise.
And you know what they say. The darkest hour is just before dawn.
This dark hour had been going on for months. And I've been stubbornly trying to pull the sun out of it's cave, shouting to the east "Damn you, sun! Why can't you rise already?! It's so dark here, I don't know what to do, where to go!"
Then when I've finally tired myself out, completely absorbed in the universe of the book, with the grace of a ballet dancer and the subtle way of a thief, the sun, little by little, like a child, is now playfully peeking behind the dark mountains.
My dear universe, you never get tired of games, do you?
p.s.
While on the ride home two nights ago, a thought struck me. There's really no such thing as nothing. Because if it's nothing, the word "nothing" won't even exist. But since it does, something is still in there. Oh, philosophy.
