Corporate Slavery.

How do you stay with something that does not make you happy but gives you money to spend twice a month?

I don't know. For days now, I have been a zombie here at the office. You see, I am not made for the  office. I am one with the wind, I belong to the streets. I never saw myself in the corporate world, just not my thing. The rigid schedules, the formality, I find nothing wrong in those, they work for other people just fine. Ironically though, I ended up working in an office. But guess what! I'm not even on my first month yet, but I am already losing the drive to go on. It's just so monotonous, ya know? Heck, it's cool. After work hours, I'm a free bitch. After the 9-hour work shift, I can go to wherever I wanna go, do whatever I want. But for those 9 hours, I am a slave to a company that pays me. 

On the other end of the spectrum, my other life is on the streets, as an observer with a paper and pen. I did not take up Journalism to stay in an office, just no. I took it up because I want to explore the world and I want to write all about the interesting things that I would discover and learn about. And as I always say, I want to write stories about people, things, and place that the world still hasn't heard about. I want to be out there. It does not matter that the life of an artist or a journalist or travel writer isn't stable--nothing is. Everything is crazy as fuck so we might as well do the things we enjoy doing and let go of the false security that we get from doing "stable" jobs that does not make us happy. YEAHRIGHT. And I am even writing this using the computer's office, in the time where I'm supposed to be working. But I can't help it.

LOL. The facebook search bar was accidentally

included in my cropped out photo. Maybe because

that's me in the office. "Search"-ing for

something more meaningful, for the things

that would actually make my heart happy and giddy

and my interest reach its peak and satisfy

my curiosity about the world and teach me things

that I still do not know. 

Yes, that's me in the office. We were having a party

in that photo. It was fun, really. My office mates are nice,

good, talented people. I enjoyed that party. However,

see that I was outside the pantry. I was looking 

somewhere else and smiling to a different direction.

(Or maybe that's just me being crazy and hanging out with

my imaginary friends? LOLJK.)

Months ago, I joined an apprenticeship. I met various filmmakers, writers, directors, artists. It was truly one of the amazing moments of my life. The shoot, the production. It's tiring as hell, yes, but it was all worth it. 

But then again, here I am. I got suck into the black hole of financial matters. I am now trying (or pushing myself?) to earn money. I stopped working for the things that made me happy.

Last night, I was with my two filmmaker friends. We talked about the shoot next week since one of them will already start shooting his short film. It's just a one day shoot but I can't wait for it. And I can't wait to not go to work. I need a breather from this routine life at the office. I need to expose myself out there again. I freaking need to widen my horizons and harness my creativity and writing skills. (Although I am also a writer in my current job, this is...rather different.)

So there, there. 

Btw, this is now my second job and its full time. The first one was on a company as well, but we were freelance writers. Anyway, my former colleague and now awesome friend from that first company said this after one of our office mates got his dream job:

Guys see!!! We can all get our dream jobs!! Throw away hopelessness!!! It's all a matter of time! :D

I'll hold on to that. I look forward to the day that I will submit my resignation letter and when the bosses ask me why...I'll tell them that I'll finally do what I love! :-) (Although I've heard that our highest boss was actually pleased with my outputs. That's not bad... Now imagine if what I'll be writing is something that I really like. Something that I am really enthusiastic about.)

Segue: Last summer I had to write a short article while on vacation so I've decided to interview the local fire dancer into the beach where I went. Apparently, my cellphone was an idiot and it stopped recording after 5 minutes. The interview went on for like one hour. However, since I was genuinely interested with the topic and with the person I was interviewing, I was able to write a pretty neat article about it. All from memory and genuine interest. :-)

Chyeah. I shall resume working now. I'll lend my skill to the dark lord of corporate slavery and be in a zombie mode once again. This will end though, soon enough. Soon enough.