There are things that we must be reminded of, every once in a while. Simple things that may be so ordinary, so mundane, that we tend to overlook and forget. As the days pass, there are things that get buried under piles and piles of daily (awful) routine and stress. These things might be simple, these things might not be overwhelming. However, these are also the same things that save us on our darkest moments.
I used to live a fast-paced life. (Idk if I'm still in one these days, lol) I go around so fast that sometimes I fail to look around me and savour the simple little things and sometimes even the important details.
There are things that I see through off-coloured glasses simply because I was only looking for the things that I want to see. Sometimes, I am so intent on looking for the specific things that I want that I fail to see that there is something more than it. There goes tunnel vision syndrome.
Since I go fast, I sometimes just give a quick glance on the tip of the iceberg and think, that's it. If only I could go a little slower, I could have seen the penguins playing on it.
Thankfully today, I came across that realization. And I believe that is fairly enough to make me survive this day and the days to come. :-)
There are days that I am irrational and stubborn. Sometimes, I am even difficult. I seriously need to deliberate before setting my expectations, of myself and others. I get disappointed a lot because I immediately expect. I give time and effort and affection to others so much that sometimes, I forgot that they are not required to do the same. But hey, no regrets on doing the things that I do. I love these people and I rarely give myself out to others. But once I do, hell yeah, I'll really be there. (yes, sometimes even in my own expense. hihi, the guy doesn't like that though. I'll try to do some adjustments, don't worry. Like a balance between others and myself.)
You know the stuff that people say about counting your blessings? Yep, I'm doing that today. And as it turns out, I'm actually having a nice life. Maybe not exactly in accordance to my expectations, but still, this is a good life and wow, maybe, just maybe, I'm back to my awesome self.
OHGOSH. HELLO PARADIGM SHIFT.
My job may not be the best job in the world and it might bore me to death every single time, but I get money every two weeks, and besides, I'm not gonna stay here forever so I'm not really that "trapped in a shithole."
Things at home might be chaotic, my family and relatives and damn, even their friends, might not understand me but they aren't that awful. It's just that we see things differently and what they want for me and what I want for myself does not go smoothly together. Or maybe it does, it's just that I do things differently (like always).
My friends are great. We might not see each other that much but when we have time, we still hang out. Although these past months, I've been struggling to spare some time for them because of my job and of course, I spend most of my time with the guy (hihi), my friends never hated me for that. So yep, more bonding moments soon!
On rare occasions and crazy days, there are moments that I let my emotions, insecurity, self-doubt, and boredom get the better of me. Those are also the same moments that I either get annoyed at myself or at the guy and I end up ruining a good day or causing some unnecessary drama. Haha, sorry bout that! :P I sometimes get annoyed that I can't control my hormones and emotions, lol. Add that to those days that my rational mind goes on leave and I'll just feel bad about random things. But despite all of that, the guy and I have a great relationship. Something I am really thankful for. This one's so special and so important to me. And no matter how irrational I have been, I find it awesome that at the end of the day, I can tell the guy about all the things that's bothering me, the things that happened throughout the day, and sometimes even random stuff and memories, and he'll just be there. Listening, and understanding, and providing the care, comfort, and security that I need and had always wanted. Who wouldn't be thankful for this, really? So to that person, thank you. Thank you so much and I love you.
Damn it. If I did not start this blog entry, I wouldn't be able to realize all these. Haha, now, I am overwhelmed. I feel like crying! Hahaha. Damn emotional kid. XD
There you go. I just took my heart out and posted all its content here. :-)
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