Trust and disappointments.

I should not be writing here. I should be working. 

Last night, the guy told me something about putting your trust on people and being utterly disappointed. 

 I know how that feels.

He asked me how come. 

How come I know about putting my trust on people and being utterly disappointed? How do I know?

Well because it is the fucking story of my life. (Ah crap, I don't intend this post to be an emo one, but fuck yeah. It's a rainy cold morning, I just had a stick of cig and a cup of coffee and I have my bonnet on and I am wearing my Iggy Pop shirt. So yeah, I have all the damn right to let this all out.)

I am not making sense. Why do I have to make sense, everything does not anyway.

Back to square zero. Hello. Yes. I have trust issues. A very high trust issue that is applicable on more than half of humanity. 

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

The number of people that I trust is less than 20. Yes, coming from a girl who knows a lot of people. Who have friends on different places in the world, who finds it easy to fit in (or at least to pretend). You know what sucks? I have always been comfortable with everyone, I make friends easily, I like strangers. 

I like strangers so much because they know nothing about me.

The less you know about me, the better for both our peace of mind.

That was written by a guy I liked two years ago. Summer 2010. And he just nailed that one damn right.

So how about putting my trust on people and being utterly disappointed? How do I know?

Because despite everything, I kept on trusting people. Certain number of people. And well, most of the time, it all ends up as a disappointment.

The guy said the first time he saw me, he could see how I am filled with disappointments.

Well I am. Then maybe even until now. But despite this, maybe I would still go on hoping. Idk.

Could it be that I am asking for too much? Expecting too much?

Life demands greatly, I think it would just be fair that we demand a lot from it as well.

But then  life is never fair. And that is how it had always been. For a long, long time now. 

Problems get worse. People get worse. You and I included.

Life is never fair. And it will always be that way.

I never wrote this way before. Everything should be justified, everything should be nicely put on. 

Even if everything does not make sense. 

Even is everything is just a blur and we are all claiming to see vivid pictures of life and love and lucid bliss.