This might sound weird. I don't even know where I'm getting all these guts to come to You now. I've been away for too long. I haven't visited you for months. I tried, You know I wanted to. But it just didn't seem possible, most of the time. Or maybe I am just making excuses. But anyway, here I am. Trying to talk to You as I slave away the hours here at work.
Well first of all, thank You. Thank You for this well life. For the opportunities, for the wonderful people around me. For blessing me with talents and chances and life and love. Thank You for not giving up on me and for the continuous understanding and care. Thank You for keeping the people that I love healthy, happy, and safe. That's the only constant thing I've been asking for, ever since.
And then I'd like to say sorry. To ask for Your forgiveness as I might have been away for quite some time. Well, it's just that I haven't been spending time with You in Your place. But You do know deep in my heart, You're there. You know me more than I know myself. You know my thoughts even before they enter into my consciousness. You know the things deep in my heart even before I become aware of them. You know You've always been there. :}
So, You probably have expected this today. :> I'm not gonna ask for anything grand. I just want to thank You. To apologize. To reach out to You and feel Your presence again. It hasn't been cold in my heart these past few months, I know You have blessed me with this warmth. With all this love that is in me. Thank You for this. Thank You for the strength, for the guidance, for the protection, for the blessings.
And dear Lord, all I am asking for right now, is patience. Not for You to grant me patience, but the strength to develop it within me. I need this to grow in me. I need this to be ingrained in my soul. This will be difficult, it had always been. But I do believe I need this, so much. I need patience with life, with people. I need to know how to watch in silence and let things fall into their own place... I need to stop interfering and meddling with things just because I'll get bored and something needs to happen.
I am not on steady waters right now, especially when it comes to my career. But I am not alone in this boat and I am less scared, sometimes not even. I have faith in You. I know that You have already blessed me with the things that I need to survive, yet here You are still guiding me. Thank You for never abandoning me.
I know I'll make it through. I'll manage.
And I'll be more patient. And hopefully, be a better person.
I send this letter up into the clouds.
Oh, how I just hope I have a better setting for this letter-tied-in-a-balloon-thing. Not sitting here in my workstation, 31 floors above the ground, in this office, with The Rum Tum Tugger blasting off my earphones. But oh well. It doesn't really matter, does it? Because even before I wrote this, You already knew.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
I am forever grateful.
(and then suddenly, There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths played.)
Oh, there is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
Merci.
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